..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So here I am, sexting at work.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
