i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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