the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
