ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
