you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
