if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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