Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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