i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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