you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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