She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
