I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
