He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
