She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
