Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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