your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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