Umm I'm too high to move.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
