I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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