He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
