I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
