Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
