It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
