I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize