My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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