My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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