Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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