you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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