he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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