He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
