I'm sorry my penis didn't work
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
