No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
