The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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