i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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