Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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