I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
