Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
