I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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