it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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