Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
