I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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