Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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