Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
