So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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