I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
