This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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