i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
