Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
we're so committed to being not committed
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