Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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