I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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