I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
