would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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