And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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