my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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