I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
