worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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