dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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