everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
