12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
