By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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