She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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